The Choice is Yours

I won’t bore you with every little quality and attitude that make up the system of principles I live by, because I know you don’t care, and you shouldn’t care. Don’t worry about what I believe or what I’m doing. Stay in your lane and focus on what matters to you. The only exception is when you find someone you want to share your life with. But even then, they have their morals and you have yours. I will share two things however. Only because I believe they should be universally shared among western society and I am bothered by the lack of both. It could just be among the people I associate with, but I don’t think so. 

The first, though, I see way too much, even in myself at times which I really need to stop: Living by others’ expectations. We place a huge amount of value in what other people think. Evolutionary psychology suggests this has something to do with our unevolved instincts seeking to protect us from group rejection. Back then, being shunned by your tribe meant death. However, now, this outdated safety mechanism actually chains us to a life of repressed mediocrity. 

As Lao Tzu said, ‘Care about what other people think and you will always be a prisoner.’ 

Your fear of embarrassment, or being seen to fail, will prevent you from experimenting with new ideas or pursuing a goal that lies beyond the narrow parameters of what the system defines as normal. Just do you and fuck what everybody else wants of you. If they care about you, they will understand that you are doing you. In an ideal world, that is.

This last one is a big one for me and I wish more people lived by: What makes a good person isn’t based on the amount of good one does but on whether one owns up to their mistakes, learns from them, and moves on. Not a day goes by that I don’t see someone blaming the world or outside forces for their problems.

When the world no longer seems fair, how do you see yourself? How do you make your choices?

If you see the world as a place that should be fair and thus owes you something better than what you’ve been given, you will be confronted with what lies underneath the false ideals and identity you were conditioned to believe—the true face of life.

We cannot change the true face of the world, but the fact is, it has no proper face. It has no identity other than the one we give it, determined by our free will. We have the choice to live as we want, to act as we wish and to be what we want. It’s not what you are underneath—not your secrets or identities—but what you do that defines you.

The ultimate flaw is the failure to accept that you cannot blame the world for how you act or your failure to act. Such a rejection causes a person’s inner self to shift, resulting in a choice to lash out at this perceived deception. They don’t yet see that it’s all about choice. Pain is inevitable in life, but suffering is a choice.

Many people today choose to sit and suffer, blaming other externalities for their pain, because in most cases, it’s the easiest way of coping. However, they will remain stagnant in their growth if they refuse to change their perception. Continuing to live in such a way will ultimately lead to their own demise.

Though, once the choice is made to do something about it, that false sense of identity fades away. Instead of running from the truth, you begin to embrace your true self without caring what the outside external view of yourself may be. It’s far more essential to be a hero to yourself, by making the choice you know to be right and not based on how the world perceives it. It may not be fair and just, but at least you don’t have a false sense of who you are or think you’re owed anything. At least you take responsibility for who you are.

Nothing makes you who you are but yourself. It’s the choice of being who you want and doing what you believe is right. Doing the right thing isn’t about what others think, or if they even see it, because it will always be the right thing to you.

The choice is always in your hands.